My search for new friends...

I'm looking for a new church. Don't get me wrong, I love Valley Brook Vineyard, and I still plan on going there every Sunday morning. But I need to make some friends outside of HGM and Joe's. I mean, really, I only know a handful of people in this city and I see them all every single day. I mean the people I live with are the same people I work with who are the same people I go to church with who are the same people i see at Joe's! Part of me loves that. I love that people can be around me that much and not get sick of me! But part of me thinks, "dang, I need to make some more friends!" Not because these people are inadequate or not good friends. Just because I need to get outside of the 'bubble' that has naturally formed around my life.

So for the past couple of weeks I've been going to churches that offer Saturday services. I'll be honest, I'm not looking for a place to feed me spiritually or somewhere that I can serve. I really just want to meet people. But I can't help it, every time I go to a new church I am so very critical! I just can't see myself bonding with people who are ok with this type of a church! I know that's a gross generalization, but it's where my mind is going. For example:

Last week, I went to this mega-mega church on the south side of town, sort of near where Joe's is. My sending church is somewhat of a mega church, so I thought I'd be familiar with the generic pleasing-to-most-everyone format that I actually really loved about my sending church. But when I came in during the first half of the service (I'm trying to avoid saying the 'worship part' because I don't like referring to just the music as worship, even though that seems to be the commonly accepted Christian reference), it was like a rock concert. Now don't get me wrong, I love concerts. And our church in Valley Brook has often been likened to that, with the loud, expertly played music. But this place had a freaking light show! How does that help anyone get closer to God? Whose worshipping experience is enhanced by spotlights and smoke machines? Plus the spotlights got in my eyes. Not cool. Then, when it was time for the message, there was just a man on the screen. There's something very strange and unnatural about sitting under the teaching of someone who isn't there. I just don't think I'm a fan of it. It seems so shallow. I'm not sure how, that's just how it feels to me. I'm assuming amazing things can happen in these churches, since there are about a thousand of them all over the world and everyone loves them. But I'm just not so sure. I may still try one of their small groups that meet throughout the week, though. Maybe that's the key.

Yesterday I tried another church, closer to where I live. It's actually right across the street from my gym, which I thought was really convenient. I grabbed a latte down the street and headed in with a positive attitude. I saw when I walked in that they had a coffee bar in the lobby of the church. Very nice. I could have drank their coffee instead of buying my own. Good to know. I headed on in and sat down and watched the typical pre-service announcements, trying to take everything in when a sign flashed on the screen saying, "Get your coffee at Hebrews! Just a reminder, no food or drinks in the auditorium." Are you freaking kidding me? I almost went home right then. Not because I care more about coffee than I do about my quest to make new friends, but seriously! I spent four dollars on that latte! I ended up walking out, standing awkwardly by the wall, and downing my latte in under four minutes. I wasn't happy. The service for this church was ok, I guess. There were real people, no light show, and no smoke machine, but I had the feeling they thought they were much bigger than they really were. I mean there were only nine rows of chairs, but for some reason they needed to put the worship team on the two giant screens up front, with the words beneath them. It was distracting. I don't want to see the saxophone player on the screen! I just want to focus on the words! Then the pastor came up, and he was your typical maybe slightly charismatic pastor who wanted to talk about what to do when you go through the wilderness in your life. I didn't necessarily agree with all of his statements. Some of them actually made my jaw drop in wide-eyed disbelief (and I'm sure he saw me, I was only in the 7th row!). But overall, I really did get some good lessons from his message. But that place was just weird. There was definitely a culture about that church that I didn't know and didn't fit into. I felt awkward. I'll probably go there again sometime, but I was disappointed.

I will mention that in both churches I attended, no one spoke to me voluntarily. The only person I said anything to was the lady at the mega mega church who tried to help me find a singles small group and ended up giving me a group for divorcees. It was obvious she wasn't single and didn't know anything about any of the groups. In the no-coffee church, I stood like 10 feet away from people at an "information desk" who had nothing to do, and they never once said hi or struck up a conversation or welcomed me.

Are all churches this horribly unfriendly and downright intimidating to come into? It's been so long since I've been new to a church that I can't remember. Well, I guess I'm going to keep on trying. More news on how this adventure goes later...