A day in the life...

I realize that many of you may never have had the privilege of knowing a Director of Finance for such a prominent corporation as ours and may feel slightly intimidated by the immensity and prestige of my title. Ha ha ha! Oh simple commoner, I am not so different from you. Rich or poor, prestigious or insignificant, we all eat our caviar one bite at a time, right? So for those of you who are curious as to the daily routine of someone in my position, here's a glimpse into the life of Corrie:

I am awakened by a gentle song (my cell phone alarm) every morning at 7:00. I love this song so much that I usually press the snooze button several times in order to hear it again and again and again (I am so not a morning person, so I stay in bed for as long as possible). When I finally arise at 7:30 or 8, I get up from my luxurious bed in my private room and take a long, invigorating, hot shower to wake myself and face the new day (I jump in the shower and try to wake up so I'm not so mean to everyone who's dumb enough to talk to me first thing in the morning, then I walk around with wet hair for most of the day because I don't have the energy to dry and style my hair that early in the morning).

Breakfast usually consists of an egg served over-easy on top of a piece of freshly toasted bread (doesn't everything sound better when you use the word freshly? I just eat an egg and toast). After my nutritious breakfast, I prepare my personal coffee maker and take it with me to my office, so I can have freshly brewed coffee all day long (I set up my french press. Again, you've got to love the word 'freshly.').

At 9:00 in the morning, my work day begins. I am accompanied throughout the day by my personal shopper/assistant/co-worker (Bebe), and my own specially chosen soundtrack for the day sets the mood for the day, creating an enjoyable atmosphere for all (I play my iTunes all day).

I go through the day magnanimously giving money to those in need (paying people their paychecks), answering thought-provoking questions (like can I have more money please?), and graciously making time for all who desire an audience with me (usually asking me for more money). Sometimes, the sweet children who live here will come visit me in my office (asking for candy), and I enjoy their company (they usually leave as soon as they get the candy).

I take my lunch at noon, and typically dine on a feast that is made specifically to my liking (because I'm the one who cooks it). After my lengthy mealtime break (it only takes 3 1/2 minutes to make and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich), I return to my desk and finish my workday.

Most days after work, I like to visit the local gym (I've put on my share of winter blubber and can't fit into any of my clothes), where I enjoy the advice of my personal trainer (I don't pay for it, I've just learned that if you do exercises around personal trainers, even if they're with their own clients, they can't stand to see you do things wrong and you get professional advice without paying!) as I go through my vigorous exercise routine (no exaggeration there, I kick my own butt. Lots of sweat, lots of pain. I'm not a pretty girl at the gym.). After the exercise, I reward myself by enjoying several minutes of ultraviolet radiation (I love laying in the tanning beds after working out - I know it's bad for me. You can save your lecture. I just like being tan and being exposed to light on dreary days.).

After this, I shower and usually head over to the house of my neighbors, where I partake in a delicious and nutritious meal (I hang out at Justin and Audrey's house and mooch off their dinner, which has to be nutritious because they both have so many food allergies). We enjoy a night of sophisticated entertainment (we watch movies, play name that tune, or play Rock Band), and i leave at a reasonable hour for my home so I can get a good night's sleep and be well-rested for the next day (I drag myself out of their house at the point when I'm so tired my eyes are blurry and throw myself into bed).

Well, that's the fascinating life of a Finance Director. I know that it sounds like it's all glitz and glamor, but please remember with great power comes great responsibility. However, if this lifestyle is something you're interested in, there is always room for one more in the accounting office of HGM. Who knows, with a little work, a bit of persistence, and just the right amount of luck, you too could become the next Finance Director! Dream big. Reach for the stars.