Flexibility

I guess flexibility is the name of the game. Two weeks ago, I thought I was leaving for Asia at the end of July. Now, I'm leaving for Oklahoma in a week. I was totally okay with everything when I was going to be leaving some time in the distant future, but now that everything is upon me, I'm starting to freak out.

I cried for a couple of hours the other night when I was at a friend's house because I realized that it was one of the last times I was going to get to just "hang out." Every other major change in my life I have been ready for. When I graduated high school, I hated high school so much I was ready to move on to college. When I graduated from college, I was about sick of it and ready to move on. I am not ready to leave my friends and family right now, however. This is the first time following instructions has demanded a sacrifice, and I'm really beginning to realize how selfish I am. I'm all for being a good, obedient girl, as long as I don't have to sacrifice. But admitting you have a problem is the first step, right?

I know it will be fine eventually, and I'm holding on until that day comes. Until then, keep me in your heart.

-CM