If Anyone is in Christ, He is a New Creation...

It's been awhile since I've written, so I thought I'd just let you guys know that I am still alive and well. I got back to Arkansas about 2 weeks ago, and I am doing my best to settle in around here. It's been great to see friends and family again, but still kind of strange at the same time. I am not quite the same person that left Arkansas in July. But how can I communicate that? Most people seem to understand that and have been great about listening to my stories. Some people just don't get it.



God has also been working with me on my total reliance on Him lately. I parted ways with a dear friend recently, and the manner in which the parting was done left me feeling betrayed, misunderstood, broken, used, and rejected. Normally, these emotions would shatter me and leave me a worthless wreck for weeks as I wallowed in my misery, anger, bitterness, and contempt. But I began this heartache with a plea to my sovereign Lord: God, You're really all I have. Please help me know You're near. He has been amazingly faithful to give me peace and shelter. Not that I have been without heartache, and I guess there are parts of me that may never change (like my desire to say or do something vindictive to hurt this person or at least let them know how I feel). But I can confidently say that God has allowed me to lean into Him, and He has strengthened me. Sometimes the strength is just enough to keep me from exacting my revenge and sometimes it's enough to remind me of all the times God has revealed His passionate, overwhelming love for me.



God is incredible. When He touches your life, you are changed forever. The best part of this difficult time I've been going through has been the knowledge that the change I experienced at boot camp was not superficial or temporary. I truly am a new and better person. If you remember, please pray that I continue to choose to forgive this person. My mind wants to dwell on the anger and hurt, but my heart knows it needs to move on. Forgiveness is the only way to get past this.